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Posted by / 01-Dec-2019 15:05

Validating caring for others

By Margaret, on February 19th, 2011 Self Improvement & Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth Higher Self, Inner Bonding, inner child, kindness, loving action, Margaret Paul, self esteem, self worth, self-validation From the time we are born, we need validation.Loving parents offer consistent validation to their children, validating their feelings, their perceptions, their gifts and talents, their particular form of intelligence, their interests, their kindness, caring, and intuition.Even if Teresa has never had any pets herself, and can’t imagine being emotionally attached to an animal, she knows that Ed loved Pogo, and is grieving his loss.There’s no judgment in her voice or her heart, just a desire to let Ed know that he’s not crazy, wrong or silly to miss his dog.All feelings are informational, letting you know when you are abandoning yourself with your self-judgments and various addictions, and when others are being uncaring toward you and disconnected from you.

No one ever got hurt by someone else having a feeling (see my post, How to Deal with Anger if you don’t believe me).Self-judgment is generally a form of control to get yourself to do things “right” so that others will validate you and approve of you.But as much as you may succeed in getting others to approve of you, as long as you are judging yourself you will continue to feel badly about yourself.Think of your feelings and inner knowing as an actual child – your inner child.If you have an actual child and you want to raise that child to feel very secure, loved, and valued, how would you treat that child? This is how you need to treat yourself – your own inner child, if you want to become a self-validating person. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah.

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The need for validation, whether conscious or not, is universal.