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Steal n cement A prisoner was released from jail, he shouted "Yay I'm free I'm free! " How many prison guards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A cellebrity What's a prisoners favorite building materials? Twenty Years Ago A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16? " "Yes, I remember." "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail? He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know... " Embezzlement A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. When the man was sent to prison, he didnt have a dime. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making out? The next day, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication. Female Sheriff Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. Why won't prison life be much different from playing for the Bills?
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who has escaped from prison?
The Juggler A circus performer was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer. They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. " the officer said "Oh, its just a stupid cat in there." So he kicks the one with the other brunet in it and she yells, "RUUFFF RUFFF!
explain Man: Honey lets put it this way your privates a prison and mines a prisoner so you put the prisoner in the prison So they have sex for the first time then the man gets tired to take a break the woman says honey the prisoner escaped so they have sex again then he took his dick out for a while because he was so exhausted and the woman says "Honey the prisoner escaped again." Man: ITS NOT A LIFE LONG SENTENCE OK! "I use those in my act." "Well, show me," the officer demanded. Be strong and I love you, too." Firing Squad Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a Polak, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunet in it and she yells, "MEEEYYOWW!
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All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no workrequired. You get to pay all the expenses to go to work andthen they deduct taxes from your salary to pay forprisoners. You spend most of your life looking through barsfrom inside wanting to get out. You spend most of your time wanting to get out andgo inside bars. " He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: "A pumpkin? Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10. Prisoner Woman: Honey you no im a virgin and i no nothing about sex.. Look at the test they're giving now." Pulled Over A cop pulled me over on the road; I was speeding. I saw him kissing on your neck and then he left in a hurry. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck.... He said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom. " To which his partner replies, "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding".