My daughter is dating a black man
Men who will want to debate you, make fun of you, hear your opinions about “Amistad” and Meek Mill, build houses for you, sit in silence with you, lay next to you, travel with you, learn from you, teach you, learn about you, take you to IKEA, and grow old with you. When in doubt, break up Relationship drama is for grown ups.But, the man wanting to sleep with you is the foundation for all of that, and you’d be wise never to forget that. And by “grown-ups” I mean “old motherfuckers.” If you’re 21 years old, and you and your boyfriend are going through some serious adversity, break the hell up with him.I love it that they are starting this new adventure in the dating scene together.He is a year older than she is and occasionally drives her around town. What, if anything, should I say to her about traffic stops?No need to be “working through” anything if you’re still not even old enough to serve in the House of Representatives.I know this seems cold, but your youth should be the time when you’re having as much fun as you possibly can, not losing sleep because some janky cat with lint on his lips is going through some depression and you don’t know how to help him.
) example of the type of parent I’m probably going to be is the last paragraph of “Why “Daddy Issues” Don’t Really Exist” — an article where I argue that if every strange thing a woman does can be explained away with “daddy issues,” then perhaps they don’t exist.Let her know that sometimes even a nurse defending her patients’ legal rights can be arrested and dragged out of the hospital she works in, and that a child named Tamir Rice was shot by police as he played in a park—that “compliance” cannot save someone who was shot less than two seconds after the officer got out of his car.This will be an ongoing conversation, and it will often prove challenging and uncomfortable.I want to warn her that stops may be inevitable and that she should keep her hands visible, be compliant at all times, etc., but I also don’t want to look like a crazy white mom who thinks this really good kid is going to get them into trouble.For what it’s worth, we live in a wealthy, mainly white suburb of Chicago, and his family is wealthy. Help me advise my millennial about 21 —Concerned Mom If nothing else, let this serve as a lesson that you should speak to your white children about institutional racism regardless of whether they date someone of another race.
If you need more details, you should probably go ask your mom. Since your mom is unfathomably attractive — and since unfathomably attractive women have (somewhat) easier lives — I’d suggest you start emulating her. Your best strategy would be to avoid all assholes, awkward and, um, unawkward, regardless of how attractive and “unique” they seem to be. They’re the ones who intrigue you and make you feel a little tingly because they literally do not give a fuck about you or anything you do.