Controlled separation dating
It’s tough to work on one a relationship if you’re starting to develop feelings for another person.Now, in the interest of full disclosure, some couples DO actually get back together after dating other people – it helps them realize what they were taking for granted, and how unpleasant the “dating world” can be.When you are confident in yourself and fulfilled in your pursuits, you have so much more to offer another person in terms of connection and support. If you aren’t working on the things that caused you to separate, the whole thing is for naught.Remember the real reasons for separation, and make sure you’re going about it in a way that will actually lead to growth and positive change.Establishing this time frame helps keep you focused on the real reason for the separation – to work on and improve the marriage.
You’ll have to find what works best for you and your spouse. If you’re struggling to make your appointments and get the kids where they need to be, good! The point of separating was to get a sense of life without your partner, and if it’s tougher than you anticipated, that’s a pretty strong sign that splitting up with your spouse isn’t the best idea.
Work On It This last rule is the most important of all.
No matter what ground rules you set, no matter what time frame you establish, no matter what your problems might be - nothing is going to change if you don’t put in some work.
It’s not supposed to be a hasty decision, it’s supposed to be that last-ditch, “Hail Mary pass” attempt at getting things back on track when you feel like you’ve run out of other options.
When you separate from your spouse, the idea is to get a taste of what life would be like without them.
If the separation is actually going to lead to some positive changes, establishing some ground rules is key.