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But I’m often curious about how he sees something differently, so I ask.” Nolan, an atheist married to a former Methodist, echoes Alise.
“It’s opened up a lot of discussions, and we’ve learned a lot about each other through conversations about our core beliefs.” Others say the difference has increased their mutual trust.
One respondent after another described having deeper conversations with their partners and learning more about each other in the process than they ever did in their shared-belief relationships.
“It has caused friction at times,” says one, “but it has also ultimately brought us closer together.” “I have had to lose so many assumptions about atheists, and in some cases, about Christians as well,” says Alise, an Independent Protestant…
I am a better representative of my own faith now than before I met her.” Many nonbelievers feel the same.
Through exploring my husband’s [religious] belief system, as well as my own humanism, I’ve been able to let go of a lot of the resentment I was holding against religion.
I’ve reconciled with myself that people express abstract concepts through religion in good, helpful ways and in bad, harmful ways.
“It may seem strange, but I think I’m a better Muslim than I was before I met my [agnostic] wife,” says Fadi.
“I used to see things in fairly black and white ways and was very judgmental.
“My husband and I have had to become much more intentional about the ways that we relate to one another.