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During that particular time, after college, men and women sometimes found it difficult to find each other.The same was true for those who did not go to college in the first place.These precautions seemed less important after the first few times a woman responded to these published invitations to meet.It turned out the men they were introduced to this way were no more or less dangerous than men encountered for the first time in a bar, or even men whom they met through the recommendation of a friend. (A somewhat older, recently divorced, woman told me she was sitting with her date at a fancy restaurant when he took out his teeth and put them in a wine glass.) Being pro-active, as I usually am, I encouraged men and women, too, to try dating this way, although, certainly, only after taking reasonable precautions.I remember, now, an experience I had when I was in medical school. After a time, she asked if I would accompany her to the theater. To be forward that way meant either that she was desperate or that she had tremendous self-confidence. When I met her, I decided she was probably desperate.I lived at the Hall of Residence and helped make ends meet by working at the switchboard, (Believe it or not, there was such a thing as a switchboard.) I tried to connect a woman who wanted to reach one of the medical students. It would not be gallant of me to describe her; but I had a good time anyway! By the way, the men who advertised, or answered advertisements, had their own concerns.The second problem in responding to these advertisements was that some people thought doing so implied that they were desperate.

Couples met for the first time in very public places. This was before the time of the “date rape” drugs; but women were especially careful, nevertheless, to drink very little.Both men and women often find it difficult to approach someone at a party, let alone announce to the world that they are eager to meet someone.In a larger context, this is a problem that impacts all dating situations: how to seem interested without seeming desperate.Answering advertisements was not yet entirely respectable, but I knew of some doctors and lawyers who married someone they met under these circumstances, (including a friend, who was a psychiatrist.The person he met and married was another psychiatrist.) There were two problems inherent in advertising for dating purposes, or answering such advertisements.

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