American dating an indian man
She told me to let go of my guilt, to use my shame to fuel my desire to learn more about the world around me. But then I decided I wanted to explore dating Indian men again.She allowed me to ask questions, questions that other people would find irreverent and racist. What age is it okay to allow your black child to get a weave or braids or whatever hairstyle he/she wants? Why does that person prefer being called African-American? Why are you okay with that person using certain words but not okay with the other person? Because I worked in an area in Harlem that was heavily populated with people of African and Caribbean descent, every man I dated was African — Nigeria, Ghana, Gambia, Ethiopia. They didn’t remind me of my ex-husband, and that is what I needed. I so terribly missed speaking my language with my partner. He does not cook exotic dishes or own any non-Western garb. When we argue, he steps back to see my perspective. He allows himself to be vulnerable and seeks to improve his emotional intelligence on a daily basis. He is the first man who encourages me to be unabashedly myself. So, does it matter that he cannot speak my language? I endured so much racism growing up — the kind that still haunts me when I visit a state or country where darker-skinned people aren’t fully welcomed.Immigrants don’t shed their skin and personalities when they step foot on American soil.Each immigrant brings their own unique culture and attitudes with them as they navigate American life.I received a scholarship to university when I was 17, and my father looked around during the school tour and said, “Look at all of this. It was not until I left that relationship that the depths of his racism, and the racism that surrounded me growing up, became apparent. After I left my marriage and moved back to New York City to carve my own identity, away from my parents and a community that I continue to avoid, I met a woman who changed my life.
There’s no better way to convince her that you’ll be a great husband and father than by rocking your little niece in your arms or by playing soccer with your little cousins.There were a handful of colored children in my classes throughout elementary school — but they were different from the white kids in ways that were different from my different. An understanding that was infused with compassion and empathy for a shared struggle. I was brought up with the belief that white people and Punjabi people were the only kinds of people I should really spend time with. Over the years, both my community and my parents have shifted their worldview, and I do notice that there’s a greater degree of acceptance, of an understanding that we are all here for a human experience, despite the skin within which we live. It was not a conversation on a sofa, surrounded by loved ones. This is what I was taught — and if no one explicitly taught me, it is what I observed. White is better.”I remember sitting next to her and nodding.While the cookie-cutter American family only gets together during the most prized of holidays, Indian families stay close-knit year-round.There’s simply more importance placed on families within the Indian culture than American. You shouldn’t have to spurn or downplay the importance of such an integral part of your life in order to find love.