8 rule for dating my teenage daughter
A: Coming to the breakfast table wearing pajamas and black socks? And it's the knowledge that my wife and kids love me that makes it safe for me to wear pajamas and black socks to the breakfast table. Cate: Well of course honey, whatever you want Bridget: Okay well I need 25 from various stages of his life... Cate: [reading Paul's last article] Okay readers, today we're having a little pop quiz, it's multiple choice, so sharpen your number 2 pencils and put your thinking caps on. Here's a quote: "Dad, you're an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to me because of which of the following transgressions? Now do you know how many times I called my father an idiot? Because I know that whenever they insult me whether it's a "You're an idiot," "You're a geek," or an "I hate you," an "I love you" isn't far behind. And Jesus isn't going to wanna back outta that dare! And my wife reassures me this is a good thing over and over and over, and she's always right. Well my house would be quieter, and I'd spend a lot less time in the bathroom, but no. Bridget: [to the tune of P-U-R-P-L-E, in the shower] Who's the girl with the pretty hair?
Your face looks like Lacey's." Bridget: [in shower] Who's the girl with the great hair? You have other girlfriends, Kyle, and that's fine with me. And then I dumped him and you got him on the rebound which made you popular, then I had a deep relationship with Donny Doyle. Otherwise, you will continue to date her and no one but her, until she is finished with you. Bridget: Oh please, the only reason you're popular is because I went out with Kyle, which made him popular. C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as "Fifty Cents"? B: Asking my oldest daughter if that guy I saw her talking to yesterday at school was her boyfriend?
[a little girl dressed as an angel comes to the door on Haloween accompanied by her father]Angel: Trick or Treat! Paul: Yeah, you may be an angel now, but in a few years you're going to be killing your father! [after Kyle gets off the phone with a girl named Lindsay]Kyle: Uh, Mr. Totally taking me out the loop creating a popularity vacuum and voila?! Bridget: I dunno; it's French, but magicians do it too.